© RCV Film Distribution BV
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The one thing that differentiates this film remake from the Buster Keaton
original
("Seven Chances") is humor. Funny is not the word for it.
Jimmie Shannon (Chris O'Donnell) feels like a wild stallion raging through the
open fields as he watches his buddies getting roped, one after the other, by the
lovely mares leading them to the altar. Jimmie can't find it in his robust libido to
commit to one woman, even when he finds one he might be in love with. His grandfather
(Peter Ustinov) mumbles oddly in the garden about the importance of fathering families
and continuing the generation game shortly before he kicks the bucket. The surprise
he has in store for the young colt is revealed on a videotaped testament wherein he
announces that little Jimmie must find a suitable (or unsuitable) bride before
his thirtieth birthday (more to the point, within 27 hours) or forfeit a \$100
million inheritance. Jimmie really gets a gallopin' at the thought of this predicament.
Shucks, looks like he's gonna have to tie the rope himself. Inviting his main squeeze
to dinner at a chic rooftop
restaurant renowned for proposals, Jimmie places his
cards and a ring on the table and tells adorable Anne (Renee Zellweger) that
she's won. Sweet Anne, upon hearing this announcement, exits immediately without even
eating a morsel and leaves Jimmie holding the check. Now it's time for him to
chase down all his ex-girl friends as well as approaching some bright new potentials.
But, one by one (Brooke Shields, Mariah Carey, Katharine Towne, Jennifer Esposito,
Stacy Edwards, Sarah Silversmith, and Rebecca Cross), the ladies refuse,
whatever the ruse. Even the cold-hearted deb solely interested in the cash (Brooke
Shields) finds the thought of sharing several years and one childbirth with this movie's
elusive hero too much to bear. Jimmie is nearing the end of his rope when he discovers
he's lucky (or unlucky) enough to have a good friend with a trick or two up his own
sleeve. How about trying a personal ad in the newspapers for good measure? Before
Jimmie can duck into the nearest church, he finds he's got women galore flying
at the heels of his standard black patent leather lace-up shoes.
So why?
Let's accept the fact that an innocent curlicue smile twirling below a cute red
head is nowhere near effective enough to approach the comic power of the Great Stone
Face. So why attempt the impossible, aided solely by a bad script and a worse
performance? Bat Fever?
Mssr. O'Donnell not only stars in this sorry excuse for a raucous romp, but
functioned as executive producer on the project as well. (Some others might have taken
time for second thoughts.) One can only assume that he must have wanted to see a 1,000
women imploring for his hand in marriage during the final scene, only to reject
them for true love (?) That's show biz.
Billowing bride gowns, Batman, who would have ever thought there would be so
many ladies chasing this dude around town!
© 1994-2006 The Green Hartnett
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