Now that the 74th annual Academy Awards® ceremony has ooh-lah-lah'ed past without even so much as an absinthe hangover or a suitable high kick for the director from Down Under (by the way, didn't you love Whoopi's feathers?), the Green Hartnett Institute is proud, once again. to announce their less nostalgic, less politically correct, less well dressed and perhaps less exciting annual presentation of the Green Goddess Awards which, lacking even the vestige of an old theatre (much less a new one), were presented this year in the same old dank cupboard at the office space. For those of you not yet acquainted with these awards, let it suffice to say that the finalists in all categories, as circumstance would have it, are exactly the same for both competitions*. The results, however, are usually quite different inasmuch as the choice of all final winners is not dependent upon the many complicated considerations necessarily taken into account by the Hollywood elite, but simply circled in green by the beautiful mind of the Green Hartnett and, therefore, solely a result of personal bias and bountiful bigotry.

*Please note that there is one exception to this rule (s'truth, you can never completely rely on TGH to keep his word) in a major category. On the other hand, what else could be expected when the Hollywood louts managed to leave Baz Luhrmann off their list for the category of Best Director?

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