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Now that the 74th annual Academy Awards® ceremony has ooh-lah-lah'ed past
without even so much as an absinthe hangover or a suitable high kick for the
director from Down Under (by the way, didn't you love Whoopi's feathers?), the
Green Hartnett Institute is proud, once again. to announce their less
nostalgic, less politically correct, less well dressed and perhaps less
exciting annual presentation of the Green Goddess Awards which, lacking even
the vestige of an old theatre (much less a new one), were presented this year
in the same old dank cupboard at the office space. For those of you not yet
acquainted with these awards, let it suffice to say that the finalists in all
categories, as circumstance would have it, are exactly the same for both
competitions*. The results, however, are usually quite different
inasmuch as the choice of all final winners is not dependent upon the many
complicated considerations necessarily taken into account by the Hollywood
elite, but simply circled in green by the beautiful mind of the Green Hartnett
and, therefore, solely a result of personal bias and bountiful bigotry.
*Please note that there is one exception to this
rule (s'truth, you can never completely rely on TGH to keep his word) in a
major category. On the other hand, what else could be expected when the
Hollywood louts managed to leave Baz Luhrmann off their list for the category
of Best Director?
© 1994-2006 The Green Hartnett
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