Now that the 75th annual Academy Awards® ceremony has blasted its way through film lover's hearts like a valentine from the windy city, it is time for the green gun to shoot its targets into the open for all its dedicated followers. For those of you not yet acquainted with these awards, let it suffice to say that the finalists in all categories, as circumstance would have it, are exactly the same for both competitions*. The results, however, are usually quite different inasmuch as the choice of all final winners is not dependent upon the many complicated considerations of a ballotage necessarily taken into account by the Hollywood elite, but simply circled in green by the beautiful and twisted mind of the Green Hartnett and, therefore, an obvious result of personal bias and bountiful bigotry. Here we go, gang:

*Only one duplicate winner between categories in the two contests has been allowed this year, but we hope to make up for it next year.

© 1994-2006 The Green Hartnett